10 POINTS! I need some crazy excuses for Self Injury scars? Save your suggestion, I don't self harm anymore. But I still have...

Save your advice, I don't self impair anymore. But I still have some scars, and when people ask me more or less them I like to say goofy or crazy excuses like

"I had sex next to edward scissor hands"
"I got in a fight near a shark" or something super crazy (: be creative? and help me pleasee

10 points to the best funny/creative answer :D
Answers:    Bella was holding out on Edward, so he came to bite me instead. ;) ....Vampire sex is pretty precarious.
Blender accident....don't ask.
That's easy! Just say you fell rotten your bike and scraped your wrists on the sidewalk. The scars would look virtually the same and it's perfectly believable
say you grew up contained by compton and you would get mugged on a daily basis so you would shield yourself beside your arms and get cuts on them.
Why not the truth? Honesty is switch to recovery and you know the saying: Truth is stranger than fiction!
I did your mom in the kitchen
It's an abstract drawing, not a scar
I cut myself on your sharp wit
'HOLY CRAP! where did THOSE come from?!?!?!?!"
"a lion jumped in my bedroom and attaked me"
"I fell on my giant scissors, duh!"
" I tried to cut a pizza. it didn't walk so well..."
...my decorative sweater was really itchy....

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